This post is a long time coming…
I’m writing at my work desk, looking up at the row of windows above my desk, listening to Patsy Cline, and marveling at how life works out. It’s hard to believe this is August, because it’s only been in the 90’s once in the last month. It’s hard to believe that we live in Ohio, now, and that for the first time since December 2011, I’m bringing home a full pay check and benefits. It’s hard to believe that I spent the first half of the summer pulling 80 hour weeks and running summer camp. It’s hard to remember that I don’t have three jobs, anymore. And last week, I was so happy, just sitting at my desk and editing, I burst into tears.
The newness is sweet enough to give me a toothache. I know that at some point, the newness will start to rub off, and this will look and feel like normal. But for now, I’m determined to soak in the deep well of happy I’ve fallen into, and not feel guilty, or wonder when the well might run dry, or try to decide if the speck on the horizon is a storm blowing in. Instead, I’m going to mow the back yard, and steer clear of the poison ivy, and dead head the lilies that grow by our air conditioner. I’m going to reacquaint myself with both my crock pots, and get some fresh herbs planted in the boxes we brought from Houston.
Pay day was last Friday, and for the first time ever, I felt like a real writer. Of all the things I ever wanted to be, professionally speaking, this is the thing I wanted most, and wondered if it would ever come to be. I am profoundly grateful for the ministry that is mine. I remember having a similar feeling, when I was falling in love with my beloved…this feeling that what was happening was absolutely the right thing, that every step it took to get here was worth it, that all things really were counted as deep joy.
It’s good to be here, and good to be caking, again. Thank you for your love and prayers for me and mine as we make this transition. Get ready…I’ve got some stories for you.