It had been a while since we’d had a visit, but as I sat next to my beloved and heard you speaking, Sunday morning, all our old times together came rushing back. I remembered late nights and early mornings, talking over the same things over and over again with you. I remember how loving you were toward me, and all my questions, and how you had a story for almost every way I was feeling. I remember the time i finally understood what you meant when you said, “This is going to be very hard. Harder than you can imagine, right now. Doing this next bit will feel like losing everything. But it won’t feel like this forever. It’s going to be shitty for a little while, and maybe for longer than a little while, but eventually, it’s all going to be ok. There’s a lot of beauty in the midst of all this mess, and a lot of love all around you. You’re going to have to be relentless in seeking it out. But you can do it. Refuse to stay down. Refuse to be complacent. Embrace love and joy and peace, and don’t buy the lie that it’s running out. Grace will find you around every corner.”
I sat there, in the pew I think I want to keep sitting in, at the church we’ve decided to keep going to, and I cried and cried hearing your words. I am so grateful for what you said to all of us, and for the ways you help us to understand the challenge of right relationships and the grace to attempt to practice them. You are one of the ways I know God. You are one of the people I listen to when I have questions about what to do next, or what’s happened to other people in similar circumstances. You’re the one who reminds me that God’s steadfast love never ceases, and that mercy shines new every morning.
Thank you for that.